


That's so Gray

by krazieLeylines



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Humans In Troll Romances, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Canon, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Troll Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:37:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4465709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazieLeylines/pseuds/krazieLeylines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five months after their on and off relationship finally settled on 'off', Dave Strider still has romantic feelings for Karkat. But Karkat has pale feelings for Gamzee, and Dave's feelings are purely conciliatory, while leaves only one option: auspisticism. Meanwhile, Rose and Terezi are dealing with their memories of the pre-retcon timeline, and figuring out how they'll allow it to interfere with their current relationships. </p>
<p>And Kanaya gets to teach both Dave and Rose how to be competent auspistices, although she has sadly not yet found her own serendipitous ashen duo. But after some bizarre matchmaking shenanigans, that may all change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's so Gray

DAVE STRIDER

It’s 10am on a Thursday morning, which means that you are officially about to be late for your weekly lesson. It’s not a university class or anything, just a pseudo-joke that Kanaya, Rose and you have unironically following through with for the last couple of months.

Because you’re Dave and you’re late, it means you can’t bear to miss the opportunity to run down the street to Kanaya’s apartment with a piece of buttered toast in your mouth. It takes an extra three or four minutes, but it will be well worth it when Rose catches sight of you and you get to see the second-hand embarrassment on her face.

It’s a lot more difficult to run with a piece of bread in your mouth than the animes would lead you to believe. In fact, you don’t even get to the corner before it ends up falling on the soggy concrete. You decide to leave it there for the squirrels, and continue on.

The run only takes about five minutes, and it’s one that you’re fully used to. Ever since you and the rest of the gang won Sburb four months ago, everyone has taken over a series of apartments on the same couple of streets. The planet Earth is filled with humans, trolls, and carapaces now, which means that your horned friends don’t have to hide themselves in disguises, which would have been both hilarious (mostly for you) and horribly inconvenient (mostly for them). 

You’re all unbelievably wealthy, since you still have access to Sburb technology and buttloads of grist, and can alchemize as much valuable shit as you please to sell for American currency. Plus Bro’s sight is still a thing that exists, and Dirk helped you hack into his bank account so that you can share its profits. 

Now everyone has the chance to build their own future. Some are taking college classes (including Rose and Kanaya), while others are building their own careers (Jade has sold her innumerous inventions to investors for enough money to keep her grandchildren comfortable.)

You’re not entirely sure where that leaves you, but thankfully, as prementioned, the run is only five minutes, and it doesn’t give you a whole lot of time to dwell on it.

“Sorry I’m late,” you blurt out as soon as Kanaya opens the door, but immediately you see something is out of place.

The living room is devoid of your ecto-twin. Rose, who has never been late to any class, even one that’s taught by her own matesprit, is not yet here.

“Yo,” you say, walking in and dropping your bag down on the carpet, “Rose’s not here.”

Kanaya gives a very nonchalant movement with her shoulders, which is her attempt at a shrug. “That is an accurate statement,” Kanaya confirms, not without her usual brand of dry sarcasm. She goes straight to the closet to start wheeling out the chalkboard you alchemized for her as a gag gift.

“What’s the deal?” You ask, because obviously there’s some sort of deal going on. Rose wouldn’t ditch plans to hand out with Kanaya for just anything. “Why is Rose playing hooky?” 

On second thought, you’re not entirely sure if Kanaya understands what playing hooky even is. So much of your jokes are lost on her. But she doesn’t even comment on it, and instead explains in a casual tone. “Rose is getting some hands-on experience today. She’s going to be spending the day with Gamzee and Terezi.”

Rose began auspistizing the two trolls not long after you all won the game. Apparently she auspistized them in the doomed timeline where John came from, too. But due to a mix of complications (Rose’s alt-self’s alcoholism, the juju’s influence turning Gamzee into the new Bro Strider), it didn’t work out all that well. And after Terezi began remembering her life in that alternate timeline, she needed an auspistice with Gamzee again. This is where Kanaya’s classes came in handy. 

“Oh, that’s fair.” You plop yourself down in your usual spot on the armchair and uncaptchalogue your gray notebook and one of your many pens. The bag you carry with you to class is just a prop, after all. “So it’s just you and me today, huh teach?”

Kanaya didn’t answer immediately, and you don’t mind. Kanaya believes in comfortable silences, and you’re starting to learn to love them, too. When Kanaya finally speaks, her voice is timid.

“Why don’t we discuss your personal relationship with auspisticism?” 

Your personal relationship with auspisticism is that you don’t have one, but you know what Kanaya’s really asking. She wants an update on your romantic life, and you’re okay with indulging in a little gossip. “I haven’t had any good opportunities lately,” you enlighten Kanaya, “I hang out with Karkat pretty much every other day. He gets into these bitchfits constantly, but as soon as I’m about to intervene with a stern but compassionate pap hand… someone or something happens. Just last Monday, Karkat got into this huge spat with Eridan over some stupid reality tv show they both like. Karkat chucked a goddamn lint roller at Eridan’s head. Now, I’m across the room, but I flash step between them quick as a whip. Then this commercial comes on for the series finale of The Real Housewives of Wherever and they’re suddenly bff’s again like nothing even happened. It’s like the universe is intent on ash-blocking me.”

Kanaya has been listening to your story with unwavering interest. When you finish, she hums sympathetically. “Not to seem callous, but you did dodge a bullet there with Eridan. I for one find it hard to muster any emotion other than disdain towards him after the stunt he pulled back in Sgrub.”

“That was like, three and a half years ago,” you remind her, but she only huffs and stands firm. Maryam sure can hold a long ass grudge.

Generally, Kanaya stands by the chalkboard during the entirety of the class, but today she takes a seat on the couch. You can’t help but note that it’s Rose’s general spot. “It takes a long time to find the perfect moment to make the first move. Most of having ashen feelings for someone is waiting. You can’t rush it, Dave.”

You appreciate her accurate commentary for a moment. And then you sit up straighter, because you have an idea.

“I need to find out who Karkat really hates, and then put my focus on one person,” you voice your thoughts out loud, ignoring Kanaya’s slightly offended expression, “I need to talk to Jade.” You stand up and stuff your notebook in your bag by the door.

Kanaya stands up, too, the sheer amount of confusion on her face making you crack up. “Where are you going?” She asks.

“I’m going to get some hands-on experience!”

\--

JADE HARLEY

The maps app on your phone isn’t especially helpful, but this city is still new to you in a lot of ways, and so you end up relying it a lot more often than you’d prefer. The destination, Starbucks, doesn’t seem too far away now.

Dave had texted you earlier and asked you to meet him there, with Karkat. Said boyfriend is walking alongside you, holding the hand that isn’t toying with your phone.

“You’re going to run buck teeth first into something or other, and I’m not going to be the one to save you,” Karkat says with a gentle tug on your hand. His usual tender teasing is just one of the many things you’ve long since gotten used to about him.

“I just want to make sure we don’t get lost,” you counter a tad childishly, and embellish the comment with a dignified raspberry. But his comment does make you look up more often.

While the city is not as beautiful as the island you grew up, you’re starting to really love the changing of seasons. You had never seen so many different colored leaves all in one place before. And even though the wind is chilly, sweaters are snuggly and fun to wear.

Your raspberry makes Karkat smile, black lips parting to reveal a set of uneven daggers that trolls call their teeth. (Thankfully, they’re not as sharp as they look, or else makeout sessions would be fairly painful.) “You’re half fucking canine, Jade. I don’t think it’s possible for you to get lost.”

That’s true. You still share some of Bec’s DNA, which mostly means that you get to wear a lot of hats to hide your furred ears. Humans, trolls and carapaces are all common to Earth, but humans with dog ears are not. 

Despite Karkat’s comment, you give your phone screen another look over. “This app is so slow,” you complain.

“Well, you can just invent a new one when we get home,” Karkat jokes, although you think part of him is being serious. He has such a strange (but flattering) admiration of how much success you’ve had, career wise. But then again, he always had a thing for women in positions of power, didn’t he? (Sometimes he still quotes the Condesce.) “Besides,” Karkat adds, “We don’t need the stupid ass app anymore. I can see Dave. He’s waving to us.”

Your head snaps up, and oh look. There he is.

You get up on your tiptoes and wave back to Dave. “Hey!” You call, even though he’s too far away to hear you. Karkat tugs on your hand, and you both jog on over.

Dave’s standing in front of the building called Starbucks. You’ve heard Dave talk about this particular brand of coffee shop before. Dave ushers you both inside like an eager tour guide. “I can’t believe neither of you have visited a Starbucks yet,” he says in way of a greeting, “This is going to blow your fucking minds.”

“Dave, I’ve had coffee before,” you laugh, and Dave clutches his hand to his chest like he’s been shot.

“Coffee?” Dave shakes his head. “Trust me, Jade, no one orders your average mug of joe at Starbucks. We hipsters are here for the frappes and cappuccinos and macchiatos.”

None of those words mean anything to you, and you have to admit you’re kind of excited so see what Dave is fussing about.

Karkat is less enthused. “What is a fucking café doing selling stuff other than coffee? Isn’t that, I don’t know, false advertising?” He grumbles all the way over to a table. The place is packed, and the line loops around more than once.

Dave isn’t even listening to Karkat. He takes a notebook out of his bag and rips out a blank page. “You non-believers are just going to have to take my word for this. Karkat, you have to order the java chip frappe. Probably a venti sized one, since you’re the dictionary definition of a caffeine addict. And Jade, you’re going to want a grande pumpkin spice latte, preferably decaf. You’re generally hyped up enough as it is.” He starts writing these bizarre combinations of words down. “And me, I’ll have a tall flat white.”

“This is insanity,” Karkat comments, flabbergasted, and you kind of have to agree. Who knew ordering coffee could be so complicated?

It takes a moment for Dave to finish scribbling their order, and then he straightens up and smirks. “Alright, we don’t all need to stand in line, so we’ll have to pick who goes and orders.” Then his finger flies to his nose, and he proclaims, “Not it!”

Your reflexes are quick, so you mimic him immediately. “Not it!” You giggle, and wink at Karkat.

Karkat’s arm is halfway to his face when he realizes he’s lost, and scowls darkly. “Oh, come the fuck on. I don’t even know how to pronounce half of these hipster words.” But he rips the piece of paper from Dave’s hand, and starts digging out his wallet.

“Thanks, pal,” Dave says, and slaps Karkat on the back.

As soon as Karkat is out of hearing range, Dave’s attention snaps onto you. “Karkat always loses that game,” he tells you, voice thick with amusement. You’re just starting to think that Dave planned all of this when he leans forward in a serious sort of fashion.

“Jade,” Dave says, “Let me make this quick. I’m thinking of perusing something of an ashen nature with Karkat.”

This is a shocking revelation for you. You’re aware that Dave and Karkat used to date, on and off over three years, but they were never able to settle on a quadrant. The way Karkat described it, he always felt too amicable towards Dave to be black, but Dave wasn’t satisfied when they were flushed, and Karkat didn’t feel like it was serendipity when they were pale. On second hand, maybe you should have considered this a possibility. Then again, you were still learning about the trolls and their quadrants.

Wait, Dave is still waiting for a reaction. You hope your expression read as surprised or, worse, unsupportive. 

“I’m still confused about troll romance,” you finally say, and Dave visibly relaxes. Was he afraid that you would be jealous? You’re not sure if you would be jealous if Karkat started filling other quadrants.

“Aren’t we all,” Dave jests, and then he sobers up. “Kanaya has been teaching me about it. Back on the meteor, there was a time when Karkat and Kankri got into a bad fight. They’ve since agreed to disagree, but anyway, I was the one to stop Karkat from clobbering his dancestor. I’m not sure why, but it felt like the role suited me. I don’t know if it’s ‘serendipity’, like Karkat always talks about, but I want to follow the possibility. I…” Dave’s voice trails off, and you can see a visible discoloration around his cheeks. “I miss the guy.”

You do feel a slight twinge of jealousy then, but you swallow it back. After all, you went into the relationship with Karkat knowing he’d be dating other people eventually. “How can I help?” You ask.

Again, Dave fetches the notebook from his bag. He opens to a blank page, pencil at the ready. “I need to know who Karkat hates the most.”

Who does Karkat hate the most? It’s a difficult question, and you don’t know how to answer at first. Of course Karkat complains about a lot of people. But most of the time it’s because Karkat cares about them, and he’s fussing about what he feels is best for them. In fact, he seems to complain about people he cares for deeply the most.

“Here, let me make it easy,” Dave says, “I’ll list some possibilities, and you tell me on a scale of 1 to 10 how much he actually, genuinely hates the person.”

That sounds easy enough. You sit back and get ready.

“Eridan?”

“Oh, a 2, at most,” you tell Dave. Eridan and Karkat hang out so often it’s perfectly ridiculous. “Ever since it’s come to light that Doc Scratch influenced all the tragedies of the trolls’ session, Karkat’s forgiven Eridan. I think it’s hard for Karkat to hold grudges.” You have to smile at that. For all his thorns and macho big talk, Karkat is a super sensitive guy.

“Hmm. Sollux?”

“A 1,” you answer, “Karkat says they used to fight all the time, but I think he just really missed Sollux.”

Dave gives you a sad look. “Damn, this is going to be harder than I thought. Okay, um, Equius?”

“Oh, he hates Equius. Probably like, a 7?” You think it over some more. You haven’t seen a lot of Equius, to be honest. “But I don’t think that will work. Equius likes Karkat, weirdly enough.”

“Point taken. Okay, that’s it for annoying troll boys. At least the ones in Karkat’s session. Umm… Vriska?”

That one takes you longer to respond to. You don’t see much of Vriska either, but you know Karkat’s not fond of her. Whenever he talks about sburb, and what he thinks he did wrong, he usually surrendering his position of team leader to Vriska. And wasn’t it John who once told you he thinks Karkat hate crushed on her once?

“An 8 or a 9,” you finally say.

Dave goes silent, and then his lips twitch into a smile. “Vriska, huh? I didn’t know he was still sore about the whole leadership gig.” He writes the name ‘Vriska Serket’ down on the page, and circles it.

“Vriska,” you echo, for no reason in particular. You try to imagine Dave, Vriska and Karkat as a triad of lovers. Do ashen partners hold hands? Would either of them kiss Karkat? You decide you’ll have to ask Karkat about it later, without arousing suspicions.

Karkat returns with your drinks a minute later. Dave makes sure the right drinks go to the right people. 

Your pumpkin spice latte tastes just like autumn, and as you sip you glance over the rim to watch the way Dave looks at Karkat. You swallow the warm drink and force your feelings down with it.

You’ll get used to this whole quadrants thing.


End file.
